Elliptical Python Programming

One thing I love about Python is how it comes with its very own built-in zen. In moments of tribulations, when I am wrestling with crooked code and tangled thoughts, I often find solace in its timeless wisdom. Here's a glimpse of the clarity it provides:

$ python3 -m this | grep e-
There should be one-- and preferably only one --obvious way to do it.

Indeed, there is one and only one obvious way to write the number 1 in Python, like so:

>>> --(...==...)
1

You may, quite naturally, place several ones adjacently to produce larger integers:

>>> --(...==...)--(...==...)
2

And so on, ad infinitum, or until your heap collapses like a poorly made soufflé. Now, the "pre-decrement operator" at the beginning is entirely optional, much like the plus sign when you write "+5 biscuits" in a letter to your grandmother. It's not wrong, but it is unnecessary. So unless you want to look peculiar to your colleagues, you would likely want to adopt a more conventional style, such as this:

>>> (...==...)--(...==...)--(...==...)
3

Now, all computer programs are, in some sense, just a long, earnest stream of bits. It is currently fashionable to bundle these bits into groups of eight and write them as integers. Following this trend, we can compute absolutely anything that is computable as long as we know exactly what integers to write. Now, I wouldn't want to bore you with the finer details of computer science – not in this day and age – fascinating as they may be. I trust you are quite capable of drawing the rest of the f... well, feathered, nocturnal bird. Once you've grasped the basics, a typical first Python program might look something like this:

exec('%c'*((...==...)--(...==...)--(...==...))*((...==...)--(...==...)--(...==...)--(...==...)--(...==...)--(...==...)--(...==...))%(((...==...)--(...==...)--(...==...)--(...==...))*((...==...)--(...==...)--(...==...)--(...==...))*((...==...)--(...==...)--(...==...)--(...==...)--(...==...)--(...==...)--(...==...)),((...==...)--(...==...)--(...==...)--(...==...))*((...==...)--(...==...)--(...==...)--(...==...))*((...==...)--(...==...)--(...==...)--(...==...)--(...==...)--(...==...)--(...==...))--((...==...)--(...==...)),((...==...)--(...==...)--(...==...))*((...==...)--(...==...)--(...==...)--(...==...)--(...==...))*((...==...)--(...==...)--(...==...)--(...==...)--(...==...)--(...==...)--(...==...)),((...==...)--(...==...)--(...==...))**((...==...)--(...==...)--(...==...))*((...==...)--(...==...)--(...==...)--(...==...))--((...==...)--(...==...)),((...==...)--(...==...)--(...==...)--(...==...))**((...==...)--(...==...))*((...==...)--(...==...)--(...==...)--(...==...)--(...==...)--(...==...)--(...==...))--((...==...)--(...==...)--(...==...)--(...==...)),((...==...)--(...==...))*((...==...)--(...==...)--(...==...)--(...==...))*((...==...)--(...==...)--(...==...)--(...==...)--(...==...)),((...==...)--(...==...)--(...==...)--(...==...)--(...==...)--(...==...))**((...==...)--(...==...))--((...==...)--(...==...)--(...==...)),((...==...)--(...==...)--(...==...)--(...==...))*((...==...)--(...==...)--(...==...)--(...==...)--(...==...))**((...==...)--(...==...))--((...==...)--(...==...)--(...==...)--(...==...)),((...==...)--(...==...)--(...==...)--(...==...))*((...==...)--(...==...)--(...==...)--(...==...)--(...==...))**((...==...)--(...==...))--(...==...),*(((...==...)--(...==...)--(...==...)--(...==...))*((...==...)--(...==...)--(...==...))**((...==...)--(...==...)--(...==...)),)*((...==...)--(...==...)),((...==...)--(...==...)--(...==...))**((...==...)--(...==...)--(...==...))*((...==...)--(...==...)--(...==...)--(...==...))--((...==...)--(...==...)--(...==...)),((...==...)--(...==...)--(...==...)--(...==...)--(...==...)--(...==...))*((...==...)--(...==...)--(...==...)--(...==...)--(...==...)--(...==...)--(...==...))--((...==...)--(...==...)),((...==...)--(...==...))**((...==...)--(...==...)--(...==...)--(...==...)--(...==...)),((...==...)--(...==...)--(...==...)--(...==...))**((...==...)--(...==...))*((...==...)--(...==...)--(...==...)--(...==...)--(...==...)--(...==...)--(...==...))--((...==...)--(...==...)--(...==...)--(...==...)--(...==...)--(...==...)--(...==...)),((...==...)--(...==...)--(...==...))**((...==...)--(...==...)--(...==...))*((...==...)--(...==...)--(...==...)--(...==...))--((...==...)--(...==...)--(...==...)),((...==...)--(...==...)--(...==...)--(...==...))*((...==...)--(...==...)--(...==...)--(...==...))*((...==...)--(...==...)--(...==...)--(...==...)--(...==...)--(...==...)--(...==...))--((...==...)--(...==...)),((...==...)--(...==...)--(...==...)--(...==...))*((...==...)--(...==...)--(...==...))**((...==...)--(...==...)--(...==...)),((...==...)--(...==...)--(...==...)--(...==...))*((...==...)--(...==...)--(...==...)--(...==...)--(...==...))**((...==...)--(...==...)),((...==...)--(...==...)--(...==...)--(...==...)--(...==...)--(...==...))**((...==...)--(...==...))--((...==...)--(...==...)--(...==...)),((...==...)--(...==...))*((...==...)--(...==...)--(...==...)--(...==...))*((...==...)--(...==...)--(...==...)--(...==...)--(...==...))--(...==...)))

Now you might be wondering if this is really the way one ought to write production Python code. Isn't it too much trouble to type those dots over and over again? Not if you remap your tab key to type three dots, of course. But I understand not everyone likes to remap their keys like this. In particular, there exists a peculiar species of mammal known to remap their tab key to parentheses. They claim it leads to enlightenment. Such enlightened living forms may find the following program more convenient to type:

exec('%c'*((()==())--(()==())--(()==()))*((()==())--(()==())--(()==())--(()==())--(()==())--(()==())--(()==()))%(((()==())--(()==())--(()==())--(()==()))*((()==())--(()==())--(()==())--(()==()))*((()==())--(()==())--(()==())--(()==())--(()==())--(()==())--(()==())),((()==())--(()==())--(()==())--(()==()))*((()==())--(()==())--(()==())--(()==()))*((()==())--(()==())--(()==())--(()==())--(()==())--(()==())--(()==()))--((()==())--(()==())),((()==())--(()==())--(()==()))*((()==())--(()==())--(()==())--(()==())--(()==()))*((()==())--(()==())--(()==())--(()==())--(()==())--(()==())--(()==())),((()==())--(()==())--(()==()))**((()==())--(()==())--(()==()))*((()==())--(()==())--(()==())--(()==()))--((()==())--(()==())),((()==())--(()==())--(()==())--(()==()))**((()==())--(()==()))*((()==())--(()==())--(()==())--(()==())--(()==())--(()==())--(()==()))--((()==())--(()==())--(()==())--(()==())),((()==())--(()==()))*((()==())--(()==())--(()==())--(()==()))*((()==())--(()==())--(()==())--(()==())--(()==())),((()==())--(()==())--(()==())--(()==())--(()==())--(()==()))**((()==())--(()==()))--((()==())--(()==())--(()==())),((()==())--(()==())--(()==())--(()==()))*((()==())--(()==())--(()==())--(()==())--(()==()))**((()==())--(()==()))--((()==())--(()==())--(()==())--(()==())),((()==())--(()==())--(()==())--(()==()))*((()==())--(()==())--(()==())--(()==())--(()==()))**((()==())--(()==()))--(()==()),*(((()==())--(()==())--(()==())--(()==()))*((()==())--(()==())--(()==()))**((()==())--(()==())--(()==())),)*((()==())--(()==())),((()==())--(()==())--(()==()))**((()==())--(()==())--(()==()))*((()==())--(()==())--(()==())--(()==()))--((()==())--(()==())--(()==())),((()==())--(()==())--(()==())--(()==())--(()==())--(()==()))*((()==())--(()==())--(()==())--(()==())--(()==())--(()==())--(()==()))--((()==())--(()==())),((()==())--(()==()))**((()==())--(()==())--(()==())--(()==())--(()==())),((()==())--(()==())--(()==())--(()==()))**((()==())--(()==()))*((()==())--(()==())--(()==())--(()==())--(()==())--(()==())--(()==()))--((()==())--(()==())--(()==())--(()==())--(()==())--(()==())--(()==())),((()==())--(()==())--(()==()))**((()==())--(()==())--(()==()))*((()==())--(()==())--(()==())--(()==()))--((()==())--(()==())--(()==())),((()==())--(()==())--(()==())--(()==()))*((()==())--(()==())--(()==())--(()==()))*((()==())--(()==())--(()==())--(()==())--(()==())--(()==())--(()==()))--((()==())--(()==())),((()==())--(()==())--(()==())--(()==()))*((()==())--(()==())--(()==()))**((()==())--(()==())--(()==())),((()==())--(()==())--(()==())--(()==()))*((()==())--(()==())--(()==())--(()==())--(()==()))**((()==())--(()==())),((()==())--(()==())--(()==())--(()==())--(()==())--(()==()))**((()==())--(()==()))--((()==())--(()==())--(()==())),((()==())--(()==()))*((()==())--(()==())--(()==())--(()==()))*((()==())--(()==())--(()==())--(()==())--(()==()))--(()==())))

This program is functionally equivalent to the earlier one. But Python isn't meant for enlightenment. It's meant for getting things done. And to get things done, code should be readable, maintainable, and ideally not resemble an ancient summoning ritual. That's why I personally prefer the earlier style, the one with the ellipses. It gracefully avoids the disconcerting void that lurks within the parentheses. After all, programs must be written for people to read, and only incidentally for machines to execute.

Finally, I must emphasise that you should never deploy code like this in production. If you plan to write code like this for your production CGI scripts, I implore you to add some ellipses for logging. When dung inevitably collides with the fan, you'll be immensely glad you scattered some useful logs amidst the ellipses that hold together your business logic. With that small piece of unsolicited advice, I'll end this brief distraction from scrolling through endless arguments on Internet forums. Happy coding, and may your parentheses stay balanced (and may your ellipses be the punctuation that ...